


this is a secret nobody knows

by highboys (orphan_account)



Category: K (Anime)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-02
Updated: 2012-12-02
Packaged: 2017-11-20 01:32:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 626
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/579833
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/highboys
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I do this for you. I do this so you will learn, and survive.</p>
            </blockquote>





	this is a secret nobody knows

I.

 

 

This is fire, and it is the color of blood. This is Misaki, and his hair burns like wildfire to the touch.

For all his temper, it takes him longer to stoke. But Saruhiko is patient, and Saruhiko is always curious for more, and when Misaki's eyes flare brighter than the sun, Saruhiko's smile is calm.

Like glass. Like ice. And like this, Misaki cannot consume him at all.

 

 

II.

 

 

Once, Misaki loved him with the blindness of a child. When Misaki touched his palm, Saruhiko shuddered; he tightened his hold. How easy, to break his wrist. How easy to snap it in half. But Saruhiko was also a child, then, and more greedy by half, prone to some flashes of loneliness, and lunacy in it.

That was, he reflects now, all that love was: the absence of mind, the crippling frailty of touch. It wrings his throat and plucks at his eyes.

He held on.

 

 

III.

 

 

Only briefly. He'd eat Misaki's heart, if he could. And Misaki --

Well, he is always quick to spite.

 

 

IV.

 

 

It is easy to kill Misaki with a knife to his neck, sweltering and heated, dark from days under the sun and forging on without fear, with abandon. Saruhiko knows all the points to make his heart stop, knows all the veins he has to unearth to still the blood. It would be efficient. It would be a kindness.

Saruhiko is not kind, so he does not. He withdraws his hand, and takes a step back.

Misaki clutches at his throat, feels for the nerves Saruki left sensitized. Tries to swallow air, and comes up wanting more. His chest rises, and falls. His eyes burn with water. Looks at him, like that. Like that.

He says nothing, as he waits for Misaki to move. Words, they get lost in memories. They pass. They die out of sight.

 

 

V.

 

 

This is fire, at his skin. In his mouth. It tastes like ashes, and Saruhiko knows it well. All of them, they would be dust, in the end. This does not matter. This is not important enough.

Family. Blood. Bonds. Love -- they all mean nothing, when you die. Only amusement, of your own meaning, your making. It is your only worth.

Saruhiko wants to burn this into Misaki's mind.

 

 

VI.

 

 

This is fun, he thinks, and passes a propriety hand over the back of Misaki's head, especially when he loses.

This is kindness. This is blood. I do this for you, Saruhiko thinks. I do this so you will learn, and survive.

Quiet, and no more harsh breathing, no struggle. Only limpness, and Saruhiko pockets his knives.

 

 

VII.

 

 

As a child he must have been fond of him. Must have. Must have.

Because when they lay twined against each other on the steps of the bar, sent outside for their mischief, Misaki's fingers trailed at his back, the line of it shorter, than, but not short enough to encompass the breadth with one sweep. His lips were pale, his mouth was red. His lashes fluttered against Saruhiko's cheek.

"It's cold," said Misaki. He shivered, even through Totsuka's jacket. "I want to go back inside."

"No," said Saruhiko. He bit his lip, and the skin came away, cracked and brittle. "There's nothing for you there."

"But it's so cold," Misaki whispered. "Can't we just say sorry?"

"No," said Saruhiko. Misaki's cheek, it was soft, and bruised. It stung and not from the cold. "No."

"Not even if I say please?" Misaki said.

His heart, it was heavy, in his chest. His lungs. His throat. His mouth. He would eat him first. He would. He would. "Never."

 

 

VIII.

 

 

It's almost like dying, when he breathes, and Misaki --

He's always been a cruel man.

 

 


End file.
